We have been to the pit of Hell and back

and lived to tell about it! Of course the Hell of which I speak is the firey pits of a little evil place called Toys R Us. WHY did I think it was a good idea to sign them up for the "Birthday Club" where they get a $3 gift card to use in the store?!!!! I think I was drunk or smoking some serious drugs that day! So... here is a synopsis of our trip:

Load the car.... Mason starts screaming (and I do mean SCREAMING) in his best autistic impression (so REPEATEDLY, as in the ENTIRE way there) "I WANT MONSTER TRUCK!!!!!" Too bad I don't know how to insert audio because I'd happily let you all share in the pain!

After an unbelievably stressful ride to TRU, we enter the store. In the first few minutes we find Mason's truck. Yes, shockingly he quickly picked out a Monster Truck.

We then had to travel backa nd forth between the Hot Wheels aisle and Batman aisle for Matthew. Matthew settled on a Batman/Superman combo that was labeled $7.99 which was right up his price range contributing his birthday cash and using his $3 gift card.

Except, having things this straight forward just doesn't work. I mean, that is NOT how my life goes. So, because this was me and because I had ALL three children with me and my nerves were SHOT, when we got to the register the Batman toy rang up $14 -- more than we had to spend. After my quick explanation that the toy was hanging on an arm labeled $7.99 an after repeated screams from Mason who now thinks we may be bailing on the whole "buy him a toy" trip, the sales lady took pity and gave us the toy for $7.99. We quickly pay and leave and hop in the car.

BUT, is the tale of our trip to Hell over? Of course not! We get home and as I am trying to pry these toys out of their adult proof packaging, Mead takes our money jar (you know the one with all of our loose change?) off the counter and drops it. Matthew takes his toy out and IT BREAKS!!!!!!!! Mead's reaction (and his pitiful haircut he received from my father):


So, here is Mason, who is finally happy with his monster truck.


As if the day had not been eventful enough, Matthew took his toy out of the box (see below):


And his toy which BROKE and had to be glued back together:


My conclusion.... Toys R Us is EVIL!!!!!!!

Loving the influence of commercials

Matthew has recently been very interested in watching Animal Planet. I think it's great EXCEPT that this channel has commercials and Matthew is an advertising executive's dream! His current comments on commercials:

"Mom, do you love us [him and his brothers] but not our stains and stinks?" (in response to a commercial for laundry detergent)

"Mom, I know a way you can save money! Get Time Warner Cable -- it will save you money"

"Mom, you need THAT -- that woman is having a lot of fun!" (in response to a birth control commercial!!!!! Truer words have never been spoken!)

Things I find funny.....

Any blog or book or piece of reading material that involves old, goofy pictures and funny captions below...

When my 1 and 1/2 year old, Mead, blows raspberries on me...

Pratt falls -- well, the unintentional kind. I will even laugh if it's my own offspring! (Yes, I am going to hell)

Chevy Chase movies -- I am embarrassed to say but the "Vacation" series really cracks me up. I also like the movie "Fletch" -- there is just something really funny to me about Chevy in an afro wig. Now, I might have to go hide from the shame!

My oldest child, Matthew's, toothless mouth...


Watching babies learn to walk... (see pratt falls above)

Mason dressed up in shoes that don't belong to him.... (frequent occasion, but this is my all time favorite picture of it)


When people think you are waving to them but you are really waving to the people/person BEHIND them (and the mistaken person/persons are looking at you waving cautiously trying to figure out how they know you)...

Awesomely true books that make fun of life in the South!

The Blue Collar Tour -- yes, it cracks me up! (http://www.bluecollarcomedy.net/)

I'll try to think of more..... there MUST be more because I feel like I spend a lot of time amused. Care to share yours? (no bashing about the Chevy Chase confession!)

Bad Idea Toys....

Do you have these? They are the toys that you see in the store and you think "my kid would love this" then you bring it home and realize it was a BAD IDEA! Ours reside on the top of the fridge to be knocked off occasionally and thrown back into the rotation for a few hours until they make their way back to the top of the refridgerator. Here are some examples of what is on our fridge:




We celebrated Matthew's birthday last night and I am thinking we may have a few more toys headed to the top of the fridge. I'll let you know....

Daddy comes home today!

Woo hoo! Daddy is coming home after being gone for a conference for a few days. He left me with a kid recovering from surgery, a baby who is cutting 2 year molars, and a smart aleck 5 year old! Add to that spring break and cold/rainy weather and you have a recipe for one stressed out mama! I think I may just walk right out the door when he gets here and go get a drink!